Speeches for many are either a highlight or the lowlight of a wedding. The rules on speeches are keep it short, keep it relevant, keep it clean and keep it sincere. Particularly for the Best Man it has to be remembered that it is not a talent show and he does not need to be the funniest comedian ever; better to be sincere and moderately humorous, than perhaps causing offense or embarrassment!
Speeches are probably best written with key bullet points on to small index cards (this does not appear to seem to shake so much with nerves) but if only a long hand version will make you feel comfortable, write it out in plenty of time and practice it again and again either in front of a mirror or with your other half. It will give you a more relaxed delivery style and will ensure all the content is understandable and appropriate. So, who does what...
Who does the speeches?
In a traditional wedding there are three speeches:
-
The Father of the Bride (who praises his daughter)
-
The Groom (who praises his wife and bridesmaids)
-
The Best Man (who replies on the behalf of the bridesmaids and tells tales on the groom - and sometimes the bride!)
However, many weddings these days also include speeches from other family members such as mothers, especially if the father of the bride is absent, and sometimes the Bride wants to say a few words too.
Key to speeches is also that there are not too many. Four should be the maximum; there have been accounts of weddings where a microphone has gone around the room and all the attendants, and more than a few guests, have given impromptu speeches. This should be avoided as it will upset your schedule (and therefore the caterers) and is a wildcard - you don't want people saying anything you are not prepared for!
If there are key members of the family absent because of illness, unforeseen events or have passed away, it is usual to mention them. Some thing short and sincere is better than long and mawkish. For example, if the Bride's mother is deceased it is fitting to pay tribute to her by saying how very proud she would have been to see her daughter looking so beautiful.
